We have all perceived, at least once in our life (and perhaps much more than one) a sense of competitiveness; in reality, if you pay attention to it, you will find that competitiveness affects us in almost all life situations, from social ones, in which we want to appear in a certain way and we suffer if someone else “surpasses” us in something, to working ones .
To some extent there is always a part of us that competes, both consciously and unconsciously, and would like to show the world that it has better qualities than others.
So, is competitiveness useful? Or can there be an obstacle?
First of all, it must be said that competitiveness is a healthy and natural attitude. Each animal competes with others of its own species (and not), for example in the field of courtship and mating. In fact, the female (when the females choose) will choose the most gifted male, the most beautiful or who will prove to be more capable. Competition is therefore a natural principle and we human beings are no exception: competing, and excelling over others, on the one hand means trying to ensure a better life and on the other, it represents a fundamental boost to self-improvement and growth.
It is this last principle that must act as an indicator for us to distinguish healthy, useful and desirable competitiveness from excessive competitiveness that can induce pressure that instead of pushing us limits us, making us feel inadequate.
Competitiveness must in fact follow a principle of equilibrium: an adequate dose will push us to improve, to seek new strategies, to try to excel in our field. An excess of competitiveness, on the other hand, can cause anxiety, stress (and therefore limit our performance) or even lead to a sense of inferiority that is highly harmful to the goals we want to achieve.
The awareness of this balance can help us to “calibrate” our competitiveness and to realize if it is useful or if it is hindering us. Let’s see how to do it in the best way.
Compete only with yourself
Healthy competition has to do first with confronting yourself, both positively and negatively, and trying every day to be better than the person we were yesterday. Bringing one’s attention out to others means moving the focus outside of what is in our control, when instead it would be more useful to focus on what is in our control, namely ourselves and our actions.
Consider your resources
No one is the same, so dealing with people who have different resources than ours is misleading. It is useless to get down if that colleague of ours knows how to speak in public better than us: maybe he is less good in some other area.
We therefore always start from our main resources, from our strengths, strengthening them, without focusing only on what we lack.
Be aware of the judgmental thoughts
For what has just been written, it can be deduced that judging thoughts are never helpful. It is therefore essential to pay attention to it, and deliberately decide (yes, decide!) To give it less weight, beyond the objective and obvious elements. With time and practice this is possible and within everyone’s reach. Just want it.
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